The Book of Bradshaw: Random Phrases I hear at work

So I love my job, and I spend the majority of my day listening to my patients and their awesome stories and their concerns. I hear some funny things everyday and I thought I might share some.

Patient "you're my favorite torturer"

Me: "so can we try another activity with you"
Patient: "Activity? no I am very active in the church thank you"

Me: Hi I am Julie
Patient: "JEW??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?"
Me: "No, "Julie"
Patient: "Judy???"
Me: No sorry its "JUUULLIE"
Patient: "Oh no I have enough jewelry"

Me: "So I would like to practice standing on one leg so you can be strong enough to get in and out of the bathtub"
Patient: Oh no I am fine I just go out the front door instead, You don't have to worry about me.
Me: "Well I understand you can get in and out of your house fine, I am just concerned about the bathtub"
Patient"No I never use the back door" (it took another two minutes to finally get my point across)

" I'm sorry what did you want me to do again?" - This is after I have demonstrated the exercise about 5 times.

Random out burst of song " THINK POSITIVE AND NOT NEGATIVE AND NOTHING IN BETWEEN"

Number one excuse- "I know I can't do that now, but once I get home I'll be able to do it".... This is a patient trying to get out of doing something.

Well I hope some of these made you laugh I'll try and post some more when I hear them!

Here are some more random Photos